The in between

​Today I want to talk about the in between. The space between the worst and the best, in between trauma and healing. They can be dark days, where light and hope feel far away.
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I imagine that is how the the disciples felt felt from the moment Jesus breathed his last on the cross with the sun blotted out and complete darkness in the skies. The earth shook, rocks split, and the curtain was torn. It must have felt surreal, as if the world were upside down. 

The bible doesn't tell us much about the time in between. We know Jesus hastily wrapped in linen and laid to rest in a new tomb carved out of the rock before sundown of the same day. It was critical because sundown ushered in the holy Sabbath where Jews did not work and they would not be able to bury him. 

We know that a large stone was placed in front of the tomb and that the women went home and prepared spices and perfumes to bring back to the tomb as there was not time to completely prepare the body. The bible also tells us that on the following day, Roman soldiers sealed the stone in front of the tomb and guarded it so that no one could steal the body.

Jesus' disciples, observing the Sabbath, would have done nothing that day. There would have been no distractions, no idle tasks. They would have been faced with the harsh reality that their teacher, leader, and Lord was gone. It is reasonable to think that the horrific and traumatic events of the previous day played over and over in their minds. The devastation would be heavy, the air would be thick with sorrow.

They must have had many thoughts running through their minds. How could this have happened? Was Jesus a fraud? Will they get arrested? What do they do now? Will anything ever be good again?

Can you imagine their self talk? How could I have been so stupid to believe? Or, how could I have abandoned or betrayed him in his time of need? I am a coward. I am worthless. 

The in between is hard. Friends, I have lived the "in between" in one of the darkest periods of my life. What felt like the unimaginable happened and things just kept getting worse. The outside world stopped. I was numb. I was in shock. I was in pain. I bounced from despair to deep sorrow to self bullying. The battle was large and I was so very small.

Maybe you are there right now. Know that you are not alone. In the midst of your grief, your pain, I invite you to take a breath, put on the oxygen mask and join me in a time of self care, to explore God's deep love for you and learn to love yourself well. It will not change your circumstances but it will change how you journey through them.

We know how the in between Jesus' disciples ended. Everything changed in the morning. At the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene races to the cave, finds the stone rolled away and the tomb empty. She is met with the words "He is risen." and is the first to see the resurrected Jesus.

Hope was restored, just as God promised. He will restore you as well. There is a place for you at the table. Join me.